By Elizabeth Nelson
7 Year Wedding Industry Expert
Photographer: @camifarcas
Intimate weddings are the new black! I’ve seen firsthand how small guest lists transform ordinary nuptials into unforgettable luxury affairs. Like a private concert by your favorite band, these events offer exclusivity and personalization. According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, the average wedding size in 2023 was 115 guests. Gen X couples invite an average of 89 guests to their wedding, while Millennials nvite 115 guests, and Gen Z has 131 attendees on average. Gen Z is on to something big – or rather, small!
Why Less is the New Luxe
So, who’s this guide for? It’s for couples who value experiences over expectations, aren’t confined by familial expectations of hosting your twice-removed cousins, and want a closer feeling to all of your guests.
It’s not just about saving money; it’s about creating an unparalleled experience. Let’s talk about nine ways you can splurge with a smaller guest list at your wedding.
1. Unlock Exclusive Venues
Let’s talk venue. With a small guest list, you’re not limited to cavernous ballrooms and stuffy, outdated banquet halls. I saw a wedding on Pinterest for 30 at a medieval castle in Scotland. The couple had the entire estate to themselves, complete with a loch-side ceremony and dinner in the grand hall. Another pair chose an art gallery in New York, surrounding their guests with priceless masterpieces.
2. Dine Like Royalty
Now, let’s dish about dining. With fewer mouths to feed, you can splurge on a culinary journey. I’m talking about multi-course tasting menus from Michelin-starred chefs. Picture flying in a three-star chef from Tokyo for a 40-guest wedding who can craft a bespoke menu featuring A5 Wagyu and rare, seasonal truffles. You could pair each course with wines from your couple’s favorite vineyards.
3. Indulge in Haute Couture
Let’s not forget fashion. With a select guest list, you can turn your wedding into a haute couture showcase. One bride I saw at a California venue commissioned a one-of-a-kind gown from a top Parisian designer and flew back and forth to Paris for her dress and fittings. She also gifted each guest a bespoke accessory—hand-embroidered pocket squares for men and vintage brooches for women. Her wedding photos looked like a literal Vogue spread!
4. Host A-List Entertainment
Entertainment gets a luxe upgrade, too. Forget impersonal DJs; think private performances. Why not book a Grammy-winning jazz quartet for an intimate New Orleans wedding? Or bring in your favorite exclusive indie band for the reception? If you love dance, another idea is to bring in principal dancers from the New York City Ballet for a breathtaking performance and to lead a master class.
5. Arrive in Style
Transportation is another area where small weddings shine. For a Sonoma wedding, you could consider chauffeuring each group of guests in a classic convertible to your wine-country wedding venue. Or if you’re having a destination wedding in Italy, picture a private gondola transporting your guests – and maybe even an opera singer! That may be a little extra, but you do you – you can only do your wedding once, after all. One adventurous pair I chatted with in Oregon had 25 guests fly by seaplane to a remote Canadian lake for a wilderness-chic celebration.
6. Take Your Wedding on the Road
Speaking of faraway locations, a compact guest list lets you take luxury on the road, making destination weddings more feasible and extravagant. I’ve seen all-inclusive takeovers of five-star resorts in Bali, chartered yachts in the Greek Isles, and booked-out ryokans in Kyoto. A destination wedding does not always mean more expense, but it often means more experiences, wild times, and memories.
7. Dote on Your Guests with Bespoke Gifts
Gifts and favors are where you can really show appreciation. Instead of mass-produced trinkets that are trade show-esque, think bespoke luxury. How thoughtful would it be to feature hand-blown Murano glass for each guest, commissioned portraits by local artists, or even have a perfumer design signature scents for a fragrance-loving couple?
8. Include High-End Virtual Experiences
Technology adds another layer of opulence. For guests who can’t make it, you can set up high-end virtual experiences. Think 4K live streams, interactive elements, and even sending them gourmet meal kits and wine to enjoy during the broadcast. Some couples offer VR headsets, allowing remote guests to feel like they’re walking down the aisle with them.
9. Pamper, Relax, Repeat
Don’t overlook wellness and pampering. At a mountain retreat wedding, guests can receive a day of spa treatments, from hot stone massages to oxygen facials (which you may need at high altitude). At one wedding venue in California, the couple hired a yoga instructor for sunrise sessions paired with Pachamama coffee.
Average Wedding Budget in the U.S.
You might wonder, “How much does all this cost?” Here’s the kicker: often, it’s comparable to or even cheaper than a large, traditional wedding. The average U.S. wedding runs about $35,000 for 150 guests. That’s $200 per person. With 30 guests, you have $6,000 per person to play with. That’s enough for a three-night stay at the Ritz, a wardrobe from Vivienne Westwood, and maybe even still have some spare change for that Michelin-starred dinner.
But the real value isn’t monetary. It’s the intimacy, the ability to truly connect with each guest. At large weddings, couples often feel like they’re running a marathon, trying to greet everyone. With a small list, you can have meaningful conversations, share laughs, and create lasting memories.
Are smell weddings just a trend?
In my time in this industry, I’ve seen trends come and go. But the move towards intimate, high-end weddings feels different. It’s not a fad; it’s a fundamental shift in values.
So, as you plan your wedding, remember that less isn’t just more. Less is magnificent. Now, off you go to create the most spectacular, intimate wedding of your dreams!
