So you’ve decided to grow a beard. Congratulations! You are among the tens of thousands of men who have decided that past superstitions about facial hair and prejudices against chin spinach no longer apply. You want to express yourself through your hirsuteness. Way to go!
But it takes some planning and forethought in order to grow the kind of beard that sets you apart from the commonality of fuzzy chinned bozos running around with a bush beneath their nose.
Let’s examine the ways and means of creating a bearded image that will stir the imagination of others.
First, make sure you have the ability to grow a thick full beard. There are many strains of genes that interfere with the growth of facial hair. Many Native Americans, among others, find that they cannot grow very much facial hair. It’s the same with a number of other nationalities. So do a little family genealogy to see if your great uncle Elmo had a full and flourishing beard, or if your father sported a mustache.(Did your grandma maybe have a faint mustache? If so, you’re pretty much assured of being able to grow a good beard.)
The reason monarchs were for the most part bearded is that beards have always been a symbol of male authority and potency.
Now that you’re going to join the club you need to decide on what type of beard you want to go for.
Goatee
This is what academics, stage magicians, and Frenchmen in cartoons always wear. Give it a pass. As noted, it’s often associated with a caricature or a stuffed shirt. If you must have something similar just go with a simple soul patch.
King George
The King George is a full and beautifully trimmed beard, named after Queen Victoria’s extremely patient son, King George, who had to wait until he was 54 years old to assume the throne of Great Britain. He spent a good deal of his time waiting growing, shaping, and trimming his full naval beard. If you’ve ever seen the character actor Monty Wooley, you know exactly what kind of beard this is. It’s a better fit for older men. And it takes about as much upkeep and trimming as a large garden. So if you go this way be prepared to pay for a personal barber’s visit at least three times a week. He will be your best friend in how to grow a beard.
The Lincoln
This is the young man’s beard. Everyone knows what Lincoln’s beard looked like, and everyone respects Lincoln’s life and ideals. You grow his beard, you’re saying you espouse his goals and virtues as well. What’s not to like?
Whatever kind of beard you grow, make sure you groom it with the proper beard oil.
The best kind of beard oil is not cheap. It is compounded of myrrh, Siberian pine resin, tea tree oil, saddle soap, and usually a touch of saffron. Beard oil will keep your beard looking full. It keeps out the snarls. And it has a pleasing, mature odor that others find fascinating and commanding.
What type of beard oil works best for you? Please let us know so we can share with your bearded brethren!
